I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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