I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
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btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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