I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
