:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
