I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
