there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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