a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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