East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
