Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
