Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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