his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
