I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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