i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
