***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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