whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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