a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
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good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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