i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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