my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
