Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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