This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Randomize
