She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
