just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
