Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
