You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
