Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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