he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
