And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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