Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize