Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
please come you make the beer taste better
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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