and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
