Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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