whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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