i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
