my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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