I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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