I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
