Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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