I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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