You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize