i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
