Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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