ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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