Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
