Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
honey bunches of taint.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
