i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
