guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
