Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just pee around me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
