There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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