Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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