a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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