I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
