4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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