And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
