Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
