Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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