I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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