It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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