Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
