I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
