I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
