3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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