Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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