Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
