Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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