You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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