he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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