dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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