he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
