god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
