two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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